Growing Capability

by Diane Oates

It’s hard being a parent when you’ve got an acquired brain injury. My left side is quite paralysed and it’s not easy for me to walk around and do the things parents have to do to care for their children. But I can do it and I do it well enough. I’ve had a lot of help from my husband, Shane.

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Diane Oates

When I was fourteen, I had a school girl crush on Shane. But back then, we were never more than friends. But after my car accident, 18 years ago, we met up again. His best friend married my best friend. I was the brides maid and he was the best man. We met up again in Melbourne when I was doing rehab at Bethesday Hospital. Shane was working there. Things progressed from there. We married. We’ve got two lovely children. We’re each other’s best friend, but my disability has been very hard on our relationship. I need to be able to be more independent. I’ve always been very headstrong. And with the head injury that’s become more pronounced.

We’ve been living apart for eight months. The kids hardly notice because we still do so many family things together - picnics, going to the movies. Shane still helps me a great deal. He picks the kids up from school and helps out with lots of domestic things. We’re good friends and our children are very happy. Benjamin is 10 and Hannah is 7 and a half. They don’t really consider me disabled. When Benjamin was 3, another little boy said “Your mum talks funny and she walks funny.” We had to hold Ben back from punching him!

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Diane and Shane with Benjamin and Hannah

For the Complete Story...
Contact: Cooinda Family Support Group