Lex

by Beverly Gardner

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Beverly Gardner

Alexi Rachael Mihailovic was born on the first day of spring, 1983. 'A model pregnancy, nothing should have gone wrong,' said the doctor through her tears, as she gave us the news that our new little baby girl had been born with Spina Bifida. Added to that the free gift of brain damage, due to being unable to breathe for five minutes. Not that we knew that at the time, only later did the extent of the damage become apparent.

However, we managed as best we could. We managed the weekends down and back from Melbourne while she was in the Children's Hospital for the first month, and we managed with all the urinary tract infections and the usual childhood ear infections and the fact that Lex didn't pass any of the ordinary milestones that other kids passed, or if she did, they came much later. We managed when the primary school nearest to us didn't want to take her because they didn't have the facilities for her wheelchair or to change her nappy. We managed to learn how to catheterise her three times a day, even though we'd never had to do anything like that before.

And through it all we had Cooinda in the background, playgroup two mornings a week, when the mums would sit and complain to the only people who really understood how it felt to be the mother of a disabled child - other mums of disabled children. The children, siblings as well, would be entertained, educated or given therapy, whichever was appropriate. Anyone walking in would be hard pressed to pick Cooinda as anything other than a normal playgroup for normal children. Which of course it wasn't. Cooinda was always more than just a playgroup. Cooinda was and still is a support group, for disabled children, their parents, their siblings, their grandparents and anyone else connected to that child.

When I was having problems managing my so-called 'normal child' (Lex's sister) it was Sue Pringle, the Co-ordinator, who came to my rescue and took her home for the weekend to give us some much needed respite from her constant temper tantrums and sleepless nights. It's a strange thing, but respite for my disabled child I always found easy to come by. Getting someone to look after her normal sister was the problem. That's where Cooinda came in. A support group for everyone.

Lex grew up. After six years in a support class at primary school, she moved with her friends to Wewak Street School. Here was serious learning, with a lot of play and interaction too, and the most dedicated of teachers. Still with the same bunch of girls from playgroup, all through school, Lex always felt part of the group and loved. She learned how to use a computer, how to sing, how to dance in a wheelchair, and even how to belly dance! She learned how to shop and buy her own lunch, how to use the public library, and above all how to socialise in her community. Whenever I took Lex out anywhere, it wouldn't be long before someone would walk past saying; 'Hi Lex, how are you?' If it was someone familiar she'd hold out her arms for a cuddle. Everyone loved Alexi. And she gave so much love in return.

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Alexi Rachael Mihailovic

For the Complete Story...
Contact: Cooinda Family Support Group