Questions without answers

by Vicki Priscina

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Vicki Priscina

I was so happy with my first pregnancy, enjoying the new experiences. I glowed. I so looked forward to the baby, reading about its development, organising the nursery, talking about the pregnancy, and thinking about the future and the change in our lives. In the thirty-fourth week, my husband Andrew came with me when I went for an ultrasound to check the position of my placenta. My mother came too as she had never seen an ultrasound of a baby before. We were all excited. The radiologist asked me to turn this way and that so that she could get a view of the whole baby. She was very informative and positive but had a concern about not being able to see the right leg. She called in one of the doctors. He checked the screen, spoke to the radiologist and then wished us well. He seemed uneasy. Nothing was said, but we were all sure something must be wrong.

We had to wait a week for the report. I rang the office of the doctor who had viewed the ultrasound but they told me that they weren't allowed to give out any information. I was very concerned. Andrew suggested we check the first set of x-rays. Both right leg and left leg were indicated. It must be OK. But it wasn't OK. At my next doctor's appointment, the doctor explained that the right leg had not developed completely. There was only one shin bone and the foot appeared to have no bones in it. It was hard for me to imagine how this would look. No one could explain. We would just have to wait and see. Naturally, I was upset, in shock, I think. I immediately felt that it was my fault and everybody would blame me, especially my husband, Andrew. Of course, no one did, especially not Andrew.

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Vicki and her two sons, Adam at left, Alex at right, at the Cooinda Family Camp 2003

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