Jesse's Frustration

By Sharon Murphy

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Sharon Murphy

One day you might see me calmly walking down the street with my three beautiful kids, but let me assure you that it is not always that way. Some days I loathe going anywhere other than the place where its familiar and where the behavior of Jesse can be behind closed doors. At times I feel like I am losing control, I get frustrated at the system, at the world we live in and at the judgments that are constantly made. So if you see us on a bad day you will find out, if you care to ask, that I have a son with ADHD.

After years of diet changes and behavior management for us as parents and now for Jess as he gets older, I am starting to feel like there is a glimmer of hope. At least now he can say he needs to have time out when he is overwhelmed or frustrated. If he doesn't have the time out we all know the consequences and it builds into a much larger issue and we all become a little overwhelmed. At least now he can cry out in frustration and tell us as he sobs that he hates to be the way he gets, that he can't help the way that he feels that he just woke up feeling that way. That is his way of telling us to be tolerant, and stick with familiar things for the day until he is feeling a little more sorted out. I know he hates feeling the way he does, I know he hates it when someone gets hurt while he is hypo and he apologises heaps when he calm down a little.

We are often told it is our parenting that is the problem, we are told he is uncontrollable, but Jess will be the first one to tell you that it is not Mum's fault he is the way he is that it is just how he feels, that it is just him.

We have been encouraged for many years to put Jess on medication. They said that it will fix it all. Well I want to prove them all wrong. There is another way. It takes love, understanding, support, education, trial and error.

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Sharon Murphy and her kids at Cooinda Family Camp 2003

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